Heart of Montana Page 3

  "I don't hide who I am, Randall. I came out in high school and there is no way I'm locking myself back in the closet."

  "That's why I'm telling you this. I want to spend time with you, for us to get to really know each other, but we have to keep it under wraps, or people will talk."

  "You mean sneak around?" Adrian said sharply as he pushed his plate away, his appetite suddenly fading.

  Randall bowed his head. "Forget it. I was stupid to think this could possibly work." He picked his plate up and headed inside to the kitchen.

  Adrian quickly followed him, taking the plate out of Randall's hands and setting it beside the sink. He took one of Randall's big hands and held it between his. "Help me understand. Why does your sexuality have to be a big secret?"

  "It's complicated. Do you know what a two-spirit person is?"

  "Two-spirit? No, what's that?" Adrian shook his head.

  "In a lot of Native American cultures, there's kind of a third gender-men who take on female attributes or vice versa. Traditionally, with the Cheyenne, male two-spirits were healers and matchmakers, and they oversaw certain rituals like...the Scalp Dance."

  "Scalp Dance?"

  "You know, after a battle...when the scalps were brought back to camp."

  "I'm not really following, Randall." Adrian said, confused.

  "Well, the white man ways took over when Indians were forced onto reservations and kids were sent away to boarding schools. These old traditions went the way of the buffalo. The thing you have to understand is that real two-spirits are called to it, usually by a vision. But the fact was, male two-spirits often married men, and women two-spirits married women, and while in the old times people didn't really think of things in terms of homosexual or heterosexual, there was same sex relations going on. Now you fast forward to the 21st century, and you have certain kinds of gay activists trying to use this practice from our culture to prove their own agendas without regard to the real facts and you have people who want to revive the dying traditions looking for people to take up the banner. On top of that, I've got good old homophobic white boys working in the park service who really don't want to take direction from an Indian in a dress...not that I want to go around in drag."

  "Yeah, you weren't kidding, it is complicated." Adrian combed back his hair with one hand.

  "It's like this-I don't want to be anyone's poster boy, and I don't want to make my life difficult at work. And I don't have the energy to deal with the Cheyenne that are homophobic either-that's the kind of stress that pushes me to want to drink. The Native American community is important to me. I want to show our kids that college, not liquor, is the answer to a lot of our problems."

  It hit Adrian that Randall had said more in the last half hour than he probably had all day. He was certainly sympathetic to Randall's position, but he couldn't begin to claim that he understood what it must feel like. The question in front of him was did he want to be with Randall enough to have a secret relationship? Adrian pulled the taller man to him, his arms threading around Randall's waist. Snuggling his head against Randall's neck, he expelled a sigh.

  "I'm not a fan of secrets, but I've very quickly become a fan of you. All I can say is that I'll try." Adrian leaned back and looked up into Randall's face. "You're certainly the most interesting man I've ever met," Adrian said with a little laugh. "Not to mention drop dead good looking."

  A smile crept over Randall's face, "I know it's a lot to ask-big city boy comes to the sticks. Not what you bargained for."

  Adrian reached up and pulled Randall's face to his for a kiss, murmuring, "You're definitely not what I bargained for...but didn't you say something about me getting to call the shots?"

  "I believe I did," Randall whispered back, "I believe I did."

  ***

  Adrian woke Sunday morning to the sound of rain on the tin roof of the cabin, and the feel of Randall spooned around him. A heavy arm was slung over his waist, and he could feel the warmth of Randall's breath along the back of his neck. There was a chill in the air, but the heat of their bodies under the blanket was cozy and comforting. It had been a long time since he'd felt so at ease with a lover; if things could feel like this, maybe not being able to shout it to the hilltops was a small price to pay. Adrian felt Randall stir, and the arm around his waist tightened as soft lips pressed against the back of his neck.

  "Good morning," Randall mumbled in a sleepy voice, "Isn't there a houseboy who can bring us coffee in bed?"

  Adrian pulled Randall's hand to his lips, kissing it. "You stay here and keep the bed warm. I'll be back in a few minutes with java."

  A short time later, Randall held the covers open as Adrian slid back in bed with the coffee. He had stacked the pillows against the headboard so they could lean back as they sipped.

  "Rainy Montana Sunday...what do you do around here?" Adrian asked.

  "Somebody is going to get new tires. And Ranger Rick has to go to work."

  "On a Sunday?" Adrian made a pouting face. "I guess that means no Sunday brunch."

  "I didn't say that! I don't have to be in until one o'clock. I make incredible French toast. Secret Cheyenne recipe." He kissed Adrian on the top of the head. "Plus you need to get ready for your first day at work."

  "You got that right. Clayton...Dr. Booth...he seems like a stickler. I want to make a good first impression."

  "Not too good," Randall said cryptically, before asking, "Did you meet Karen? We graduated from high school together-and she helped me a lot when I was trying to get my head on straight."

  "Does she, uh, know...about you? We could ask her over for dinner or something, she seems like a great person."

  "She is a great person...but you know, we're...not close anymore. Sometimes life just takes you in different directions."

  "Yeah, that's true. I'm not really in touch with any of my old high school friends, either," Adrian said, a little distractedly. "May I ask you something?"

  "Sure."

  "Have you ever had a vision? I mean like the two-spirit thing you were talking about?"

  "Wow." Randall set his coffee cup down, "I wasn't expecting that."

  Adrian backpedaled, "I'm sorry, that was too personal. You can tell me it's none of my business." He slid the covers back, and changed the subject. "Why don't you show me how the woodstove works? Knock the chill out the air."

  Randall reached for Adrian, "Things will be clear in time. Trust me."

  Adrian nodded, "Okay, yeah. Let's go make some French toast."

  ***

  Adrian found the garage that Randall recommended and miraculously they had his tires in stock. He supposed truck tires were a common commodity, and in a community that small, people needed somewhere to get vehicle necessities seven days a week. Still, it was a pleasant surprise, and the owner turned out to be another friendly Montanan. His young employee went to work with the air gun, pulling off the lug nuts as Adrian leaned against the counter chatting.

  "My son..." the owner waved at the kid with his hand, "Wanted a summer job before he starts college, so I told him not to expect any perks from dad. And he's been doing great." He beamed a smile of fatherly pride.

  "My dad helped me get a summer job one time with a friend of his on a lobster boat. I thought it was going to be fun on the high seas. That was the most awful job I ever had in my life!" Adrian laughed. "And I've worked in some terrible emergency rooms."

  "Oh..." the garage owner said with a flash of recognition, "You're the new doc. Have you experienced the Bear Paw ER yet? A lot of extracting fishing hooks and giving tetanus shots, I imagine."

  "No, I start on Monday. I'm Adrian Cook." He stuck out his hand and they shook.

  "Bud Keller. Welcome to Red Wheel. How do you like it so far?"

  "Considering I haven't been here 72 hours yet, fine!" They laughed.

  "Have you met Karen? She's my niece. The whole family was so proud when she got her degree. First one to make it through college, and a PA to boot."

  "Yea
h, she gave me a tour on Friday, she was super nice, and she certainly seems really good at what she does. Dr. Booth speaks really highly of her."

  "He should," Bud snorted, "Broke her heart."

  Adrian decided he should let sleeping dogs lie. He changed the subject, "Seems like everyone around here is related," Adrian observed with a laugh.

  "Small town life, huh? Stick around long enough, and you'll get sucked in too," Bud teased.

  "So any advice for the new doc? What should I know about Red Wheel?"

  "You know to keep an eye on the forest fire threat, right? Especially up where your cabin is...you can check it on the government weather website. I'm not trying to scare you, but anyone who was around in 1988 takes fire seriously."

  "What happened?" Adrian asked.

  "A bunch of fires merged, half of Yellowstone went up in smoke, and thousands of people were fighting the fires. It was the biggest wildfire ever recorded in the US. The good news is that the ecosystem is pretty resilient."

  "That's awful. I hope there weren't many injuries."

  "Some, but only a couple of people died, so I guess it was a blessing nothing worse happened."

  Bud's son came over and smiled, "Your truck's all set."

  "Thanks." Adrian turned back to Bud, "So now that it's stopped raining, what should a guy with time on his hands do around here?"

  "Heck, go for a hike. There are a million beautiful places, but if you don't want to drive too far, head up the road a few miles past your cabin. You'll see a little parking pull off and a trailhead on the right. Locals call it the Cheyenne Trail. It's a nice loop, maybe three and a half or four miles. Perfect for a Sunday afternoon."

  ***

  Adrian found the trailhead easily and pulled off on the gravel pull-off. He tucked the truck out of view in some trees to keep it from getting too hot. The sun was coming out, and it seemed a perfect day to explore. And spending some time alone felt like a good way to get his bearings. It sure seemed like a lot had happened in a short time, and he hadn't even begun working.

  As he started up the trail, Adrian thought about ways to fix up his new place. He needed a kitchen garbage can and a better reading light. The pantry was crying for sturdier shelves, and the bathroom definitely needed some love. It was a list of ordinary things, but they were things he could control-which was more than he could say about his new connection with Randall. Just recalling the way Randall's arms felt around him when he woke up made his heart beat a little faster. There was something grounding about Randall's presence, but also something a little mysterious. Maybe it was a cultural thing, maybe just the novelty of a new lover, but it felt like there was something he was missing.

  From the little bits and pieces of information he was getting, Adrian began wondering about the relationship between Randall, Clayton, and Karen. Somehow, they seemed connected. Karen definitely had opinions about Clayton, but seemed to manage a working relationship. Bud had hinted that Clayton had broken Karen's heart, and Clayton had seemed like he had more than a professional feeling for Randall and a high regard for Karen. Then Randall's remark about not wanting him to make too good of an impression on Clayton led Adrian to wonder if Randall and Clayton had had a relationship, and maybe that relationship had something to do with why Karen and Randall were no longer close. Adrian began to worry that he had unwittingly stepped into a small town soap opera. Maybe he didn't need to be enmeshed in some drama.

  Ponderings aside, the scenery was beautiful and the hike felt good, and Adrian enjoyed working up a sweat. The exercise would help him sleep well, and he could start work at Bear Paw feeling refreshed and relaxed. And mysteries aside, a good shagging wasn't hurting his mood either. Randall was both a thrilling and tender lover, and Adrian hoped that all would be well.

  As he neared the end of the trail, Adrian heard the sound of a man grunting-and not because he was doing heavy lifting. He slowed his gait and peeked through the trees. There was an older model sedan in the parking area with its windows rolled down, and clearly the driver was getting head. He was rather skanky looking, Adrian thought. He had the tell tale pockmarked face of someone who did meth. Adrian looked around; he didn't want to just walk up on the couple, whether or not a drug transaction was involved, nor did he want to keep staring. Surely they would be finished shortly, so he decided to just bide his time.

  A moment later, the receiver of the oral pleasuring let out a gasp that signaled his climax. Adrian glanced back through the trees, just as a head popped up into view and spit out the window. He sucked in a quick breath, and then another and another, trying not to yell or cry. The person giving head was Randall.

  ***

  Monday morning dawned warm and clear, and Adrian tried to work himself into a good mood. It would be abysmal to start his first day at work grumpy, but the thought of Randall going down on that sleazy meth head was making his stomach roil. A small town soap opera was one thing, but Adrian couldn't make any correlation between the Randall he had experienced, and what he had observed going on at the trailhead parking. Maybe Randall had substituted some kind of sex addiction for booze, or maybe he was secretly doing drugs. As a doctor, Adrian knew how to spot all kinds of drug use, though, and there was nothing about Randall that led him to believe that he was anything but sober. And why would he lie about going to work, when one of the last things he had said to Adrian was, 'Trust me?' Adrian was pretty sure he wasn't going to solve any of it in the next eight hours, and now he needed to focus on his patients.

  Karen was getting out her car as Adrian rolled into the parking lot. She waved and waited for him to park.

  "Good morning! How was your weekend?" she smiled.

  "Interesting," Adrian said noncommittally. "You'll be glad to know that I got new tires!"

  "Did my Uncle Bud sell them to you?"

  "Yeah, how'd you know?"

  "He's the only guy with tires open on the weekend."

  "Nice scrubs, by the way. I don't think I've ever seen any with penguins!"

  "Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are pediatric clinic. Animals go a long way with the youngsters...especially when you are sneaking up with a big old needle!" Karen laughed.

  Adrian could feel himself relax. Everything would be okay, he just needed to focus on work, get to know his colleagues. So he managed to have a one-night stand his first weekend in town. People did worse things. And at least he and Randall had had safer sex.

  The morning passed uneventfully. Adrian saw a lot of predictable stuff: an ear infection, allergies, poison ivy, high blood pressure, a couple of physicals, and a seriously ingrown toe nail. Karen poked her head into the examining room where he stood making notes on a chart.

  "Lunch? It's square pizza day in the cafeteria, I wouldn't want you to miss that." She smiled.

  "You had me at 'square pizza,'" Adrian joked.

  They put their trays down at a little table, and the pharmacist and a nurse joined them. After a bit of friendly small talk, Adrian asked the group, "This might seem out of the blue, but I ran across a guy this weekend that was clearly a meth addict, and I was wondering how big a problem it is around here."

  The pharmacist nodded her head, "I guess you haven't been here long enough to see the very expensive media campaign from the Montana Meth Project-TV commercials, billboards-all very graphic. Yeah, meth is a problem, but Red Wheel isn't seeing as much as some places."

  The nurse added "Around here, you're probably more likely to see an Indian on a bender." She caught herself, "I don't mean that to sound racist, but facts are facts."

  Karen interjected, "Alcoholism is a problem, not just for the Native Americans, you see it in the white population too."

  As they walked back to the clinic, Adrian asked Karen gently, "You sounded like you have some first hand experience with alcoholism. Someone close to you?"

  She nodded slowly, "Yeah, one of my best friends growing up. As far as I know, he's sober now, but it wrecked our relationship."

  "I'm sorry
for that," Adrian said sympathetically.

  "Yeah, sometimes that's just life." Karen brightened with a idea, "Hey-you don't know how to canoe do you?"

  "Come on, I'm from Maine! Of course I know how to canoe."

  "There's this charity race coming up in a couple of weeks, and I need a partner. It's a lazy river, nothing crazy. Would you be interested in doing it?"

  Adrian thought about it for a moment; a charity race was a perfect way to get involved with the community, show that he was more than another Yankee trying to pay off his student loans. Plus he liked Karen and a real friend would do a lot more for his wellbeing in the long run than any roll in the hay. He smiled, "Yeah, I would love that. It would be a great way to help me meet people, and it sounds like fun."

  "We'd have to train," Karen said with mock seriousness, "I hate to lose!"

  "Count me in...and I can always hit up the friends and family back east to sponsor us!"

  "Excellent! Let's plan on paddling Wednesday after work."

  As Adrian got organized for his afternoon patients, he realized that he was truly looking forward to canoeing with Karen. The outdoor lifestyle in Red Wheel was welcome after too much time cramped up in the city. Surprisingly, he wasn't missing Back Bay Boston at all, and if his first day of work was any indication of a normal schedule, the less hectic pace in Red Wheel felt a lot more human. Every time Randall crossed his mind, he did feel a twinge of both longing and regret, but he vowed to get on with his new life. Then his phone rang. He didn't answer it, but listened to the message. It was Randall wanting to get together. He decided to ignore it, but set the number in his contacts so that he knew it was Randall.

  At the end of the day, Clayton appeared in the clinic. Adrian hadn't seen him all day, and he was glad for his boss to look in on him.

  "How was your first day? Was there enough excitement for you?"