Heart of Montana Read online

  "I think the clinical highlight of the day was removing porcupine quills from a ten year old."

  "A case of curiosity and the cat?"

  "Something like that, apparently the porcupine escaped unharmed and the ten year old has an awesome story to tell."

  Clayton awkwardly changed the subject. "So...I was thinking, maybe you'd like to go for a run some time? Running is the thin blue line between me and crazy."

  "As long as you're not one of those ultra-marathon types," Adrian joked.

  Clayton laughed, "I was thinking maybe this week a 5k, we can wait until next week to do a hundred."

  Adrian laughed, "Are you a trail runner? Pavement gives me shin splints."

  "Trails it is then."

  Adrian nodded, "Just promise you won't embarrass me. I haven't had much time to run the past couple of months.

  "You can be the pacesetter, I'll be glad for the company." Clayton looked happy, Adrian thought.

  "I hope I don't make you regret that," and they both laughed.

  ***

  Late the next afternoon, Adrian and Clayton changed into their running clothes. Outside the hospital, Clayton nodded toward his car with a tilt of his head as he stretched, "I'll drive. We can go up to one of my favorite trails. It's pretty up there, and a good one to get you going-not too rough."

  As they ran, Clayton kept up a steady stream of conversation. He talked about everything from running gear, to diet, to supplements, and Adrian found that he was mostly listening. Clayton was interesting enough, and Adrian was okay with not having to work hard at conversation. It did seem to him that Clayton had a lot bottled up, and he hoped that after they got to know each other better, he'd relax.

  As promised, though, Clayton let Adrian set the pace, and Adrian enjoyed trotting along the path as it wound through both meadow and forest. Then they emerged out of some woodland to find a beautiful, small lake. Adrian came to a stop and took a hit from his water bottle. "Wow, that's pretty stunning. Montana is one beautiful landscape after another."

  Clayton looked happy as he came to a rest by Adrian. "Are you sure you haven't run in a while? I'm already worried that you'll be smoking me before long."

  Adrian shook his head, "This is about as fast as I get. I'm a much better hiker than I am a runner."

  "If you want, we could go hiking too. I know the best kept secrets, overnighters, too."

  Overnighters? Adrian wondered. Was Clayton suggesting more than backpacking?

  In his shorts and tight fitting singlet, Clayton definitely had Adrian's attention. He had almost no body fat, but he had a masculine shape, not the scrawny look of some serious runners. Clearly, he was lifting some weights and when he dried his face with the edge of his shirt, Adrian caught a glimpse of a nice, hard, six-pack.

  Adrian took another drink, then capped his water bottle and took off at a clip. He yelled back without looking at Clayton, "Catch me if you can."

  Clayton laughed and took off, quickly pulling abreast Adrian. Playfully, he grabbed at Adrian's arm trying to edge ahead of him. The tussle turned into a spirited wrestling match, and without either of them knowing exactly how it happened, Adrian found himself caught in the circle of Clayton's arms. They stood with their hard bellies pressed against one another, breathing quickly, as they looked at each other's handsome faces, eye to eye. It was exactly the type of moment that leads to a kiss. Adrian could think of a dozen reasons to not make out with his boss, but at that moment, none of them seemed real.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Adrian leaned in slightly, just enough to signal his receptivity to more intimacy, and Clayton responded with firm and eager lips. One of Clayton's hands trailed down and gently kneaded Adrian's muscular butt cheek as Adrian slipped a hand behind Clayton's neck. Their bodies crushed together, and Adrian could feel Clayton hard and ready, and the thought of that lean body naked against his made Adrian hard, too. He drew in a quick breath and fought the urge to start ripping off Clayton's clothes; reason needed to prevail for a moment.

  Pulling back, Adrian broke off the kiss, his hand gently stroking Clayton's head.

  "I'd be a liar if I said I didn't want you right this minute, here in the meadow," Adrian said. "But hell Clayton, you're the medical director and this is my first week of work. I've got to be here for the next five years. Maybe humping my boss isn't such a good idea."

  Sighing, Clayton said, "It's-it's been such a long time since I met anyone I can relate to, and you're frickin' gorgeous too." He dropped his arms and moved away.

  Adrian collapsed cross-legged in the grass, and Clayton sat down too, holding his knees in front of him. Adrian thought it looked like a protective posture, but he couldn't criticize.

  "I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not now." Adrian twiddled a blade of grass between his fingers. "We need to really get to know each other before we jump into something. Some fantastic sex isn't worth jeopardizing our working relationship, and let's be frank-I need the student loan relief. If this job doesn't work out, I'm in a world of hurt financially."

  Clayton nodded in resignation, then gave Adrian a wry smile, "Are you sure some fantastic sex isn't worth jeopardizing our working relationship?" Adrian couldn't help but laugh, but Clayton continued, more seriously, "No, you're right. Jumping into bed this fast is probably not the smartest idea. I'll try not to let my horniness overrule common sense." He knocked on the top of his head with a fist, "The big head needs to be driving the boat, not the little one."

  It made Adrian feel better that Clayton was taking it with a sense of humor. "Just for the record," Adrian said, "I think you're pretty frickin' gorgeous too." He stood up and extended a hand to Clayton and pulled him up. "Nothing wrong with window shopping until the right time to buy."

  "Just for the record," Clayton said, "I'm not really out about my sexual preferences. I hope you'll respect that."

  Adrian nodded, resigned to the facts. Clearly, Red Wheel wasn't going to be having a gay pride parade any time soon.

  "Come on city boy, we've got another mile and a half." And Clayton took off running.

  ***

  The next morning Adrian packed a gym bag to go paddling with Karen-some nylon shorts, a quick dry shirt and water shoes. He threw in some sunscreen, bug spray, a couple of bottles of water and some protein bars and figured he was as ready as he could be. His phone rang and he glanced at the caller id-it was Randall. Part of him was dying to see Randall again, but he couldn't get the image of the trailhead encounter out of his mind. He clicked ignore, and his phone went to voicemail.

  When he pulled into the hospital parking lot, it was clear which car was Karen's. Her small SUV had a bright red canoe tied down on the rack on top. It was a whitewater style canoe, more narrow and sleek than a flat bottomed lake canoe, which would mean it would be more tippy, but faster and more maneuverable in the water. He wondered if that would give them any advantage or if everyone in the race was paddling whitewater canoes, even though the river didn't sound like it had many rapids. Wandering over, he peeked in to see what kind of paddles she had and he approved with a smile. They were lightweight, wood laminate paddles-the best combination for weight, flexibility and strength. You could feel the water better with a wooden paddle, although he knew that a lot of people liked fiberglass. He guessed he was a little old school, and was glad that Karen was too.

  Adrian whistled a bit as he went into the hospital. His mind was on having a good day with his patients, and getting to the river, and he had put both Randall and Clayton out of his mind. He was determined to start a life in Red Wheel that wasn't about being led around by his cock.

  The day passed quickly and uneventfully, and at 5:30 he changed and met Karen. "You want to just follow me?" Karen asked. "We'll dump the boat at the put-in, then leave my car at the take-out, and you can shuttle us in between."

  "Sounds like a plan," Adrian smiled. "It's been a couple of years since I paddled, so you may have to give me some remedial instruction."

 
"Like a bicycle, you never forget. It's not like we're going to do anything crazy. It's just some class II riffles out there. I did bring you a vest. PFDs are required by law."

  "Ah...yeah, I should have thought about my 'personal flotation device.' See? I am out of practice."

  "We're going to fix that! Let's get going."

  The drive to the river was surprisingly short, only about twenty-five minutes, but by the time they got things shuttled around, it took about an hour. They slid the canoe in the water, and hopped in, Adrian kneeling in the bow, and Karen in the stern-since she knew what to expect, and the person in the back has to do more of the steering.

  "The first mile and a half is just moving water. We can practice catching a few easy eddies and get you tuned back up," Karen said as they set off.

  The day was beautiful and mild, and Adrian found himself enjoying the rhythm of being on the water and chatting with Karen. They quickly found a rhythm with one another and everything went great. It felt good to focus on something, Adrian thought, something that didn't involve work or attractive men.

  As they loaded the canoe back up on the top of Karen's car at the end of the five-mile run, Adrian asked her about the race, "So have you done this race before?"

  "Not in a long time. I used to with that old friend of mine I mentioned, but when things went south between us, I sort of lost interest. Last year I decided to start paddling again with a girlfriend of mine, but she's eight months pregnant now, so not exactly the best canoe buddy." Karen laughed a little, but Adrian could see she was thinking about being left behind by friends.

  "You miss him, your friend the alcoholic?" Adrian inquired. Karen jerked down hard on a tie down strap. "I'm sorry...that's not any of my business," Adrian said, tucking the paddles away.

  "No, it's okay. It's a small town, you might as well hear it from me, but I'm starving. Let's talk over a burger."

  "Fine. Lead the way."

  ***

  Karen flipped open the laminated menu at the little diner. "I don't know why I insist on looking at the menu. I always order the same thing-cheeseburger with Swiss, lettuce and tomato, no onion, extra pickle."

  "Make that two." Adrian said as he folded the menu closed. A moment later a waitress appeared to take their order.

  "So here's the deal," Karen said, lowering her voice a little. "Growing up, I was a huge tomboy, and I had the kind of parents that let me run wild through the woods. I was the girl who was always bringing home frogs and turtles and keeping them in a little plastic swimming pool in the backyard. Not a big fan of Barbie."

  Adrian laughed, "I can see that."

  "My best friend, from the third grade on, was this guy who's half Indian. He was raised by his Cheyenne grandparents, so the way he thinks, well, sometimes I think he's a lot more Cheyenne than he is white. Anyway, he was like my brother, and when we got to be teenagers, he kind of walked off a cliff. He fell into a depression, and started drinking... a lot . We were both full of the usual teenage angst, but there was something deeper, heavier, going on with him. His parents were drinkers-that's why his grandparents raised him-so I always thought it had something to do with that. I stuck by him for a long time, and eventually, he got off the bottle, but before he completely pulled himself together...he kind of wrecked things for me with the guy I was seeing at the time. I guess I've had trouble forgiving him for that."

  The pieces were starting to fall together in Adrian's head as to how Karen, Clayton and Randall were connected. Karen and Randall were best friends, Karen and Clayton started going out, and Randall and Clayton must have met through her and gotten involved. So she probably blamed Randall for 'stealing' Clayton from her, and her family thought that Clayton had dumped her. But it didn't answer what happened between Randall and Clayton, or why Randall would be going down on some skanky meth head.

  "I'm sorry that happened, it sounds like you lost two people who meant a lot to you." Adrian was sincere in his sympathy.

  "No sense crying over spilled milk, though, right?" Karen tried to be flippant about it. "It's just so damn hard to meet any single guys my age in this town. The never-married ones are too young, and the divorced ones are too old. And like my paddling buddy, most of my girlfriends are busy starting families."

  "Frankly, my concern for a social life almost kept me from taking this job. I don't think it's going to be a big picnic for a gay guy, either."

  "Maybe easier than you think," Karen said, a little tartly, but then the waitress set down their burgers with a clatter of plates and silverware.

  Karen switched the conversation back to Red Wheel, the race, and the hospital, and Adrian didn't press her for more information about her relationships with Randall and Clayton. Clearly it was a painful topic, and probing more would be intrusive. She'd been discreet in not mentioning names, and well, he had to respect that.

  They finished their meal and Adrian grabbed the check. "This one is on me-It's great to make a new friend, and I'm excited about boating with you!"

  "Thanks...I feel the same, Adrian...glad for someone to talk to, and...I'm glad you're open about being gay. This little town has too many people holding on to secrets. It's refreshing to be with someone who's comfortable being who they are."

  Adrian laughed, "I'm still not entirely comfortable with the doctor part, though."

  Karen playfully popped him in the arm with the back of her hand, "We'll fix that."

  As they left the diner, a couple of men in the dark green of the park service were approaching the front door. Karen stiffened a little, and Adrian swallowed. It was Randall and a co-worker.

  "Hello Randall," Karen said coolly, trying to be polite. " How are things up in the park?"

  "Fine," Randall said, his eyes flicking over to take in Adrian. "Fire risk is up as things dry out, so we're keeping an eye on that."

  "This is Dr. Adrian Cook-he's the new guy at Bear Paw," Karen said by way of introduction.

  "Actually, we've met," Adrian said. "Randall helped me out that first day, when I had the flat. He's the one that told me about Bud's garage." Randall and Adrian shook hands perfunctorily. Randall introduced his co-worker and the four of them stood there awkwardly.

  "I see you've got your canoe out," Randall said.

  "Yeah, Adrian and I are going to do the charity race together," her voice held thinly veiled reproach.

  "Well good luck, I'd be happy to sponsor you." Adrian sensed an olive branch but wasn't sure if it was meant for him or Karen.

  "I better get home," Adrian said, "All the fresh air is making this city boy tired."

  "Nice to see you again, Dr. Cook," Randall said, and Adrian thought he could detect a note of hurt in Randall's voice. "Goodnight Karen," Randall gave her a sad smile, and Adrian thought she cracked for just a moment, before the wall between them went back up.

  "See ya around," Karen said casually, and each of them went their own way.

  About an hour later, Adrian's phone rang. It was Randall. Okay, he told himself, man up. He answered the phone.

  "Hello."

  "Adrian, it's Randall."

  "Yeah."

  "You haven't returned any of my calls, and I guess I was just wondering if everything is okay."

  "I'm fine, thanks." Adrian's voice was distant and controlled. "Is there something particular, Randall? It's getting late."

  Randall was off-balance, confused by Adrian's coldness. "I-I thought we had a good time this weekend, I was hoping we could maybe go hiking on Saturday."

  "You don't have to work?" Adrian said sarcastically, "Like on Sunday?"

  "No...Adrian what's going on? I get the idea that you're pissed at me, but I have no idea why."

  "Oh you know-I went hiking on Sunday, on the Cheyenne Trail loop, and the scenery was pretty interesting."

  Randall's heart sunk. Now he understood, "Adrian, that's...it's not..." He had no idea what to say to make things better.

  "Last weekend? That was a mistake, Randall. I've got to get up early, I
need to go." Adrian hung up the phone. He felt anxious, what if there was some explanation for what Randall had done? But what explanation could make what he saw okay? He'd never been into casual hookups for the sake of sex, and he didn't want to be with anyone who was. A minute later, Randall rang back, but Adrian turned off the ringer on his phone and went to bed.

  ***

  For the next week and a half, Adrian stayed focused on work, fixing up his house, and paddling with Karen. Being out on the river was soothing and exhilarating at the same time. His technique was coming back quickly, and they had ventured out on more exciting segments of the river, trying their hand at a few ledge drops and small rapids. Most of all, they were having fun. He and Karen had cooked dinner for each other, and they had driven the hour and a half into Billings to see a foreign film and have sushi on Saturday night, which was just enough city life to keep Adrian happy. And work was going fine too. He liked the staff at Bear Paw, and was settling into things there without a hitch. He had lunch with Clayton one day in the cafeteria, and that had felt okay too. But he was firm in his decision that there wouldn't be any more runs or after work contact with his boss until he and Karen got through the race. Adrian didn't want things with Clayton to impact his friendship with Karen; if he and Clayton ever did start dating, it would only be right to give her some warning-especially if what he suspected was true.

  All in all, Adrian felt like he was settling into his life in Red Wheel. People had been friendly, and he tried to understand why Clayton felt that he couldn't come out. Randall's situation was more complicated, he thought, but maybe there was something he was missing.

  That evening after work, Adrian decided to stop at the local hardware store to exchange some shelf brackets before he went home. The ones he had bought for his kitchen pantry overhaul were too small and he knew they had the next size bigger. He parked in an alley beside the store, and ran in. The exchange only took a moment, and Adrian hustled back out to his truck. He caught a glimpse of someone skulking around his vehicle, and slowed down. Suddenly, a man stepped out of the shadows. It was the meth head he'd seen with Randall. Adrian did his best to ignore him, heading to the driver's side to unlock the door, and wishing that he had electronic locks, and maybe a panic button on his key chain. The man stepped between Adrian and his door.